Zach the dog: How do I break up with my girlfriend?

Dear Paws to Talk,

I have been dating my girlfriend (who I prefer not to name) for 6 months. She is smart, funny and has a lovely fur coat. Overall, she is a wonderful canine, However, I don’t have romantic feelings for her anymore.

I know that I need to break up with her for both of our sakes but I don’t know how. Last week, I took her for premium chow outside of our yards figuring that over a nice meal I could end it. At least then, her tummy would be full even if her heart might be broken.

But I couldn’t do it. I knew it would be hard. How do I break up with her?

-Zach the dog

Howl Zach,

I am relieved that you care enough about your girlfriend to ask for advice on how to deal with this difficult situation. Some men can be such wild animals.

No matter how painful it may be, most of us just want to know the truth. Don’t waste our time or say you are too busy to take us out of the yard for date night because in reality you don’t care about the relationship anymore.

Before you do anything, make sure that you are ready for the relationship to end. Are you sure those romantic feelings have diminished? Can you live without seeing her gorgeous fur coat on a regular basis?

If breaking up is still the correct choice,then perk your ears up. Go to your girlfriend’s yard when she won’t be crowded by humans or other animals and tell her your feelings have changed.

Then just listen to what she has to say. When she is done crying, barking or reminiscing, tell her again how fabulous you think she is. Explain how you agonized over this. Be gentle and kind.

If you handle this sad situation with grace, it will help both of you to move on peacefully. Leave the gate to the yard open because you never know who may trot through it in the future.

Woof,

Bella

Bella

Frank the French Bulldog: How do I smile more?

Dear Paws to Talk,

At first glance, I may not look like the happiest dog on the planet. It is my loose jowls. They make it a bit more difficult for me to smile.

However, inside I am a jovial canine who loves others. Unfortunately, humans and other animals can be put off by my business-like appearance.

How do I smile more and let my inside personality show on the outside?

-Frank the French Bulldog

Howl Frank,

You have come to the right place! I love to smile and over my many years on this planet have perfected a winning grin.

                     Bella: Is this a smile or is this a smile?

On the other paw, DiDi is one of the happiest beings I know but doesn’t always flash her pearly whites. She likes to save her smiles for when they count. I think this is part of her guard dog instinct.

DiDi: I am smiling on the inside but working to protect my yard on the outside.

It is wonderful that you want to smile more because it will make others more comfortable around you and have an overall positive impact on your attitude.

Since you have some physical challenges that make it harder for you to smile, I suggest the following exercises.

1. Loosen up your jowls by shaking your head back and forth. Who cares if you get some drool on the humans’ floor? Shake it out!

2. Hop up on a chair in front of a mirror and smile. It is important to watch yourself do this because you want to show off an authentic smile. No one enjoys an awkward, half-smile.

3. Let you inner energy flow. The next time you are on a walk, smile at everyone. Soon you won’t even have to think about it. You will have a wide grin that everyone will adore.

Perfecting your smile is the easy part but having the desire to spread cheer is special.

Woof,

Bella

Bella

Bella and DiDi: From our home to yours…

…Happy Holidays! Thank you for reading our blog. Sending you Poodle *kisses* and *hugs.*

                                                                 Bella (L) and DiDi (R)

Woof!

Bella and DiDi

Dan the Human: How can I thank my dog for saving my life?

Dear Paws to Talk,

Recently, my dog Ruby saved my life. I had a bad day and decided to drown my sorrows in whiskey. A couple of drinks into my pity party, I started to make dinner for myself. I put a frozen dinner in the oven without taking it out of the box. I continued to drink and drink until I eventually blacked out.

Hours later, I woke up thanks to Ruby barking at her highest pitch in my ear. The smoke alarm was going crazy and my dinner was on fire. I grabbed Ruby and we made our way out of the house. I live alone so I can’t imagine what would have happened had Ruby not sounded her own alarm.

The truth is that I had been struggling with alcohol abuse and that night made my realize that I needed help.

I don’t know where I would be without Ruby. Since that night, I have been in counseling and am putting my life back together.

Ruby continues to be my lifesaver and shining star. How do I thank her for everything she has done?

-Dan the Human

Howl Dan,

We’re glad you’re safe and improving your life. Ruby sounds like she is a true gem and not just because she is named after one.

There are many ways you can thank Ruby. For starters, a lifetime supply of treats and plush toys might be a good way. Don’t buy any cheap stuff. She deserves things that are top of the line.

Besides the gifts, the best way you can thank Ruby is to love her with all of your heart. Give her hugs, kisses, and belly rubs. Tell her that you love her. Just because she barks a different language doesn’t mean she can’t understand what you are saying. She will hear it. Many of us dogs are bilingual. Humans just don’t know it.

Is there an adventure that you have been meaning to do with Ruby? Now is the time. If you think she will love a hike or swim then go for it. Explore new things together.

It sounds like you learned a lot from that night. Ruby means a lot to you but you are also very important to her. Don’t spend all of your days trying to repay her (you should spend some though) just be there for her and that will be enough.

We wish you and Ruby all the best.

Woof,

Bella and DiDi

© Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Bubba the little human: Why don’t cats love me as much as dogs do?

                  Bubba trying to love a cat. Courtesy of bumpyroadtobubba.com

Dear Paws to Talk,

Why don’t cats like Bubba girl loves as much as dogs do? I am a little girl with a lot of loves to give and it makes me so sad when my cat friends run away from me. My Mumma wrote about this recently because I was so upset.

Our dogs, Bella and Beary and all of our other puppy friends are so happy to stay around for my loves. Mumma says my loves are the best kind of loves. So what’s with the cats?

Special Bubba loves for you both,

Bubba

xox

Howl Bubba,

To begin with, you are an adorable little human. If you were in our yard we would spoil you with kisses and Poodle hugs. That sweet face of yours might even convince us to give you some of our special treats. Maybe.

Scientists, philosophers, and great thinkers have tried to figure out on the whole why cats don’t seem to give out love as freely as dogs do. So far there don’t seem to be any solid answers.

But don’t let that get you down. We have some cat friends who are very affectionate and we also know some dogs who would rather be left alone. No matter what kind of animal you are, there is a chance to be loving or distant. We choose loving because more happiness and treats are involved this way.

Maybe your cats were teased by their litter mates and don’t know how accept love?  Perhaps, they only like being near other cats because that makes them comfortable? Our world is filled with all kinds of species who act a certain way because of their own life experiences.

Of course, their behavior has nothing to do with you. If a cat doesn’t want to cuddle with you, that is their problem. They are missing out!

We suggest you keep trying to give them your loves. You are a sweet girl and should not change your way because of others.

We hope one day these cats can appreciate the precious little lady in front of them trying to brighten their day.

Woof,

Bella and DiDi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Gus the Bulldog: What do women really want?

Dear Paws to Talk,

I just got dumped by my girlfriend. I am so confused. Just a few weeks ago, she told me that she wanted a tough guy. Admittedly, I am not really a tough guy at heart but knew how to beef (yum) up my manliness.

I worked out more, spent less time cuddling with her and exchanged all my plush toys for rawhide bones.

One night while we were out with friends, I made sure everyone knew she was mine. I clinched her collar with my teeth and led her to our next hang out destination. I felt guilty about doing this but I thought she was impressed with my manly domination.

A week later, she left me, saying that her needs weren’t being met. She wanted someone more sensitive. Why didn’t she see that I am truly a sensitive guy and that I only became more macho for her? What do women really in a man?

-Gus the Bulldog

Howl Gus,

See three different answers below. One each from Bella, DiDi and our Poodle nephew Toby.

 

Bella: I think women want a smart, funny and athletic man who has most of his fur still intact. Personally, if he knows how to play a good game  fetch that is a bonus. I think when men act macho they are hiding something.

 

 

 

DiDi: I want a man who can play all day. Tug of war, fetch and hide and seek. You name it! If it is a fun game let’s play. Also, he has to be comfortable hiding in the bushes with me as that is one of my favorite things to do. If a man is willing to have fun day after day then he is perfect or me.

 

 

Toby: In my experience, women want the sweet guy. Sometimes they lose their minds and think the macho guy is better. Usually, women come back later for the nice guy.

They want an adorable face that will listen to them and give kisses. I have been blessed with a precious face, toned body and glorious fur coat so I am ahead of the game.

However, I believe every guy is able to be sweet even if they have a beefy look. Then again, what do I know? I’m just a man.

Woof,

Bella, DiDi and Toby

© Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Byron the Boxer: I need some new pick-up lines. Can you help?

Dear Paws to Talk,

After the end of a long relationship,I have recently entered the dating scene again. My skills are rusty to say the least.

The hardest part is starting a conversation with a female I am interested in. I stand there in front of this woman like I have a giant chew toy in my mouth preventing me from speaking.

Can you suggest some pick-up lines I can use to end my chew toy mouth?

-Byron the Boxer

Howl Byron,

It’s Toby the Poodle here. Bella and DiDi thought this was a letter that deserved a man’s response. I agree.

In my experience (trust me you want my experience because the females flock to me), it is best to start a natural conversation. For instance, when you find yourself walking next to a female in the park or encountering one in the pet store, this is a good time for a chat.

Women don’t like to feel awkward or nervous while you have chew toy mouth. On the other paw, an ambush with stupid pick-up lines won’t do either.

Please see below my most successful conversation starters.

“Would you like to share this half-eaten sandwich I just snagged from the trash?”

“Did you just get a fur trim? Your coat has the perfect amount of fluffiness.”

“Your human(s) are very well-mannered. You did a good job training them.”

“You must have picked out that collar you are wearing because it is very stylish.”

“I know a great place where they give out treat samples. Would you like to join me there sometime?”

“Is it okay if I say hello?” Then sniff the behind.

“That dental bone you chew is working wonders because I can see my reflection in your teeth.”

I hope these gems help you land some wonderful females.

Woof,

Toby

 

 

 

 

 

 

© Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.