Dear Paws to Talk,
For the past several months, I have been carrying on conversations with one of the male canines in my neighborhood. At first, I was attracted to him solely for his ripped body and handsome face.
Then I discovered how much I enjoyed barking with him. We barked about all kinds of topics. I had a wonderful time whenever he was around. He knew how to make me laugh and smile.
A few weeks ago, I decided to be the brave and asked him out for ice cream. He said yes. I was thrilled!
After, weeks of silence, I barked to follow-up about our date. He never barked back. I even left my paw print on his front door to remind him that I was still interested.
Still, no response. No barking. No return paw print. Nothing. What happened? What should I do?
-Coco the Mixed Breed Dog
We’re so glad that you have reached out to us for advice on this subject. Not only have we experienced this but so have some of our humans. It can be heartbreaking.
We are going to give you three different perspectives (including one from a male) on what to do in a situation like this. Here we go.
Bella: Coco I think you are a strong canine for seeing something you want and having the courage to go after it. Not everyone has the ability to do that.
Even though, it doesn’t feel this way right now, everything happens for a reason. Some say this is a cliché saying or belief. However, I have read a lot of philosophy books and I find this principle to be accurate.
The time you spent getting to know this male was not a waste. The experience will always be a part of the your fabric. Maybe you will learn something valuable from it?
It is hard to understand why he is ignoring you. You will never know unless he tells you. I wouldn’t count on that.
For now, focus on moving on to a happier place. Have your humans give you belly rubs, enjoy the company of true friends and use a chew toy to exert your anger.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
DiDi: These males! Where do they get off setting us up for a nice time and then disappearing? Seriously, if you are not interested in this fine bundle of fur, then just say so. We would rather know upfront.
If your feelings changed or an old flame came back into your life, then bark and tell us. Why can’t males communicate in a polite and timely way? A simple bark or set of paw prints is all we need.
Females just want to know if they are standing in a rose garden or in a pile of poop. I don’t think that is too much to ask for.
I suggest you put on your finest collar and hit the neighborhood with your friends. Go out. Try to have some fun. Remember that you are a spunky, brave and worthwhile female. He’s just some dog.
Josh the Bouvier Dog (Our trustworthy neighbor): First of all, thank you Bella and DiDi for allowing me to give the male perspective. Coco, I hope I can help you.
Males are really very simple. They act on primal urges. Unlike, females, most of the time they lack the ability to know when a matter is time-sensitive. For example, barking back three weeks later about the details of a date sometimes doesn’t register in our minds as inappropriate.
We get caught up in the moment. The ball game happening in the yard. The cute new neighbor walking by in her sexy collar. It is easy for us to become distracted.
This male could like you very much but be nervous about the date. So he is putting it off. He may not have the skills to deal with this anxiety.
However, if he is completely ignoring you after your thorough attempts to make the date happen, I would say he is not interested. This likely has nothing to do with you otherwise, he wouldn’t have paid attention in the first place. It is his shortcoming.
I think he is missing out.
© Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk with appropriate and specific direction to the original content