Dear Paws to Talk,
I prefer to remain anonymous in this letter so that I don’t hurt one of my dear friend’s feelings. We are both single career women who spend many days a week together talking, dining, exercising and shopping.
Whenever, we go out shopping together my friend always asks my opinion on whatever item she is thinking of buying. Whether it is a dress or a candle holder I am on the hot seat. I always say, “I love it” even when I don’t.
Personally, I can’t stand her style. She loves animal print clothing, sparkly things and large decor items for her house and yard. I am more of a minimalist who goes for classic things.
How do I give my honest opinion without hurting her feelings?
Howl Anonymous Human,
This is a delicate matter. No one wants to hear that their Leopard print dress doesn’t look striking. What a disaster it could be to express distaste for the large European Fountain that maybe taking over your friend’s yard. We hope she does have a large fountain so we can come over and frolic in it.
Style is very subjective. You don’t have to like everything your friend buys or how she decorates her house (Bella: I accept DiDi’s nature girl look and that she always has leaves in her hair. DiDi: I accept that Bella likes fine fashion even though I think it is silly). Your friendship will be a lot more honest if you kindly express how you feel.
The next time she asks you about an item up for purchase tell her that it is not your style but that it might fit her well. Or if you think she has stumbled upon a truly horrendous item then let her know.
If your friendship is a strong as it sounds, it can handle the honesty. In fact, your friend probably suspects you don’t like her style, given that you aren’t out buying animal print clothes.
Differences aren’t always bad. In fact, they yank us out of our own worlds to let us experience things we would otherwise miss.
Learn to appreciate the animal prints and sparkles even though it is not your style.
Bella and DiDi
© Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.