Lily the Cat: Why change something that is working?

                                     Lily the Cat courtesy of Ann Marquez

Dear Paws to Talk,

I’ve lived with several humans and even in a shelter for a while. I don’t know why I get passed around so much. I try to be as good as possible. I’ll sit in my human’s lap to keep her company and I never bother anything.

Anyhow, my question is about the other cat in the house. My human has lived with another shelter cat for seven years now. They are very close. But the cat, Bailey, hates everyone else, especially other cats and children. She is a mean girl.

Because of this, my human keeps us separated. She built a door in the hallway made out of something she calls plexiglass so we can see through it. I have the front of the house and Bailey has the back rooms. We each have places for our food and litter boxes and windows to watch the birds. Separate we are stress-free and very happy.

Lately, people have been telling my human that she needs to remove the door and let us fight it out. They tell her that one of us will win and then we’ll be okay. Even the man human says we need to fight to get it out of our system. But I don’t want to fight it out. I like our stress-free arrangement. Why do we need to change something that’s working?

Lily the Cat


Howl Lily,

It sounds like you have finally found a good home and caring human family. That makes us happy. A human who lets you cuddle on their lap is one of the best things in life.

This is a tricky situation. In our experience, it requires time and maybe a playful scuffle in order to get used to a new animal in the house (DiDi: Bella tried to bury me in the garden when she met me). However, this shouldn’t be a normal occurrence. If you can’t exist together in peace than other arrangements (i.e. the plexiglass door) should be made.

In the presence of your humans, we think you and Bailey should emerge from your separate sides and interact. Maybe Bailey has gotten used to seeing you on the other side of the clear door and won’t be so ferocious? It would be nice to have a friend in your own house.

If things turn ugly and all you see is splayed cat claws then curl up like a ball to protect yourself. Your humans should step in and stop this immediately.

If it doesn’t work out, at least you will have given a relationship with Bailey a chance. Some beings are just not friendly. This is a hard fact in life. You can always go back to your safe space.

We hope the plexiglass door can be peacefully unhinged.


Bella and DiDi

















© Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Margot Ahlquist and Paws to Talk with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

23 thoughts on “Lily the Cat: Why change something that is working?

  1. Aw … look at my little Lily. What a sneaky kitty she is, writing a letter to you like that ;)
    Thanks for the help Bella and DiDi. :D (Sorry I’m slow at finding it. I was offline for a while.)

  2. When I was growing up, we had old cat and new cat. They never got along though both lived until they were in their 20’s. Sometimes relationships just don’t work out.

  3. What a darling little thing. The time getting used to one another through the plexiglass may well have done the trick. Otherwise, as long as both are happy and having a good life, I agree, why change. Good advice Bella and Didi (as always)

  4. Bella and Didi we have been lucky enough to have had three cats. I give them space and some encouragement resulting in our three cats all became friends, especially with our three dogs! Good luck.Julia

  5. Oh wow!!!! My mom said she thinks you should watch last week’s episode of The Cat From Hell with Jackson Galaxy! They talked about this very thing!!!

    It talked about playing with each other and feeding the cat that was there FIRST their food first……with the door slightly open and that NO you should not have the two cats see each other with a full window like that. The door should be slightly open.

    Please go online to the Animal Planet and see if you can watch last week’s episode. It discusses that and NO they should NOT fight it out!

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