Dear Paws to Talk,
Something obscene is happening in my house. My humans have started watching horrible television programs. At night, we used to watch animal shows and public broadcasting after play time. Now, we watch people half-naked battling each other in the wild, women with large bosoms pulling hair at dinner tables and humans who barely know each other getting engaged on mountain tops. My humans even started watching a show about a group of kids who speak funny and spend time by a shore.
Before this new trend started, some nights we wouldn’t even watch the TV. The humans would be amused by my cuteness. Now, the TV seems to be ruling our evenings. What gives? How do I get my humans’ TV habits out of the gutter?
-Kelsey the Hound Dog
Human behavior never ceases to amaze us. They are always up to something. We thought the big bright thing or television was only for animal shows and the occasional ball game. Your humans have clearly discovered a new use for it.
Another human probably told them how great it was to watch someone half-naked in the wild which is why you are an innocent bystander to their new viewing habits. Humans like to be entertained. For example, mindless TV shows remove them temporarily from any issues that the real world has brought about. However, this may be a new low.
We suggest swift action. Stand in front of the TV to block their view of the kids at the shore. Another tactic is to take the TV remote in your teeth and run with it into the other room. When they try to get it from your grasp, don’t let go. Remind these humans of how silly they are acting. Show your distaste in watching this type of TV.
Humans often talk about training us but sometimes we have to train them. This is one of those instances. Don’t stop until the animal programs start airing again and your cuteness returns to being the main attraction.
Bella and DiDi
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